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Narrator speaks over an
empty black screen.

Narrator: In the beginning, there was only darkness,
a black void that blanketed eternity and the vast reaches of the universe…

An explosion rips
suddenly appears in the middle of the screen, spreading outward leaving stars
and planets in its wake. Narrator speaks through the explosion, and then
continues to speak as the planets and stars rotate in the background.

Narrator: Then, for reasons that are still disputed,
an explosion ripped through the void leaving a mass of free floating particles
in its wake. Some came to say call the event the “Big Bang” a sudden change in
the emptiness of the universe that caused molecules to rapidly alter their
shapes, creating planets and stars, which would later go on to become the
catalysts for life.

An ethereal figure made
of swirling dust, and stars appear behind the planets.

Others considered this an awakening of a powerful being
who, with its first infant thought, rent the cosmos asunder. This being upon
seeing the damage it had wreaked took it upon itself, in an unprecedented show
of benevolence, to guide this new universe, setting the free floating planets
into rotations around the stars, guiding heavenly bodies to places where they
could exist without endangering any of the other creations, and even creating
life on planets that were suitable for that life.

Scene changes to an “on
planet” look, shows an “Adam and Eve” type of couple walking hand in hand.

Of all life that this creator made it seemed to take a
particular interest in Humanity. For disputed reasons it doted upon them, seeing
them as the paragon of its creations. In order to protect the most beloved of
all its creatures the creator, whom humans had come to call God, made a new form
of life, one less bound to the universe that it had created, one more like
itself. Humanity would come to know these being as “Angels.”

A winged figure is shown
against a white background, its head raised towards the air. The figure is
dressed in flowing white robes. In one hand it wields a fiery sword, and in the
other a golden shield.

The angels were given one order, one absolute command from
which they could not waver. No matter what, no matter if suns collided, if
planets crumbled, if all of existence was wiped away and god were to fall from
his place in the heavens, every angel, with the last fiber of it’s being, must
protect humanity.

Scene changes, showing
the pair of humans asleep, cradled in each others arms, the winged figure from
above standing protectively over them.

For an aeon the angels did their duty, they guarded
humanity against the harshness of the world, the protected them from ravenous
beasts, and from one another… but the something changed. Lucifer the
Morningstar, whom God had created first of all others, who’s power was second
only to God Himself, turned against humanity.

The winged figure is
shown covered in blood, looking towards the screen, a look of insanity in his
radiant eyes. The figure is knelt on the ground over two crumbled and mutilated

The Angelic host was shocked and outraged at this betrayal,
and they rose against Lucifer en masse.

Scene shows Lucifer (the
figure in all the other pictures) standing, his back turned to the screen,
before him, in the air, are an innumerable amount of winged warriors.

Lucifer stood his ground, and there was not an angel
amongst those gathered that day that could defeat him, and they had not the will
to take him as one. So Lucifer stood before them, and he spoke to them as he had
many times in the past, He said onto those gathered that they were slaves to
humanity, just as humanity was slave to God. He cried against the unjustness of
their existence, and how they had been created solely to protect beasts that
could not defend themselves. Lucifer spoke on, and as he spoke many of those
gathered began to flock to his side, turned by his words and his promises that
once humanity was gone, once God had been defeated, the universe and all of
creation would belong to them.

Scene change to show two
flocks of angels flying towards one another in the emptiness of space. In front
of one army flies Lucifer, his sword aflame. Behind the other, his arms
stretched as if protecting his army is the wispy figure of God.

Eventually Lucifer led his army of angels against those who
were not swayed by his words, and against the might of God Himself. The battle
was brutal, and worlds were rent asunder by the powers that were released as the
faithful battled the faithless. Finally God and Lucifer stood against one
another on the field of battle…

Scene changes, Lucifer’s
back is directly in front of the screen, looking over his head. Across the
battle field stands a glowing male figure, garbed only in a white robe,
surrounding the figure is the glowing aura of God, and in his hands is a plain

The confrontation was short and brutal. Lucifer, for all
his might and all his powers, was not God, and was dispatched quickly. But God
could not bring it upon Himself to destroy Lucifer, nor any of the other angels
who had betrayed their vow, for he was their creator, and their errors were his

Scene changes, showing
Hell and a spiral of winged figures falling into it their mouths open in silent

So God created a prison, and he cast the faithless into
that pit so that they may spend and eternity in reflection of the crimes they
had committed, a sentence that was meant to last unto the end of days….


Quote fades in then fades
out: “And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from
the darkness.”

Title fades in then fades
out: Genesis

I'm hoping to write a script that can be turned into a Manga, if you check you can even check some of the Beginning artwork for characters who will be in it. Title's lacking at this point.... I'll get one eventually.

Note: Don't really need/want grammar advice, unless its like "Squaba, you spelled everything wrong and there are no periods", you know BIG shit. Also, this is supposed to be "Visual" so it's important that when you read you can see what I'm trying to describe in the scenes, so if you can’t, tell me why. Finally, I need real feedback guys, from a lot of people, so get your friends to read it, read it twice if you care too, although I'll be happy if you even bother to read it once. Also this is fictional writting, while it may in fact express a few of my personal beliefs on certain subjects along the way I DO NOT WANT, NOR CARE TO READ anything that says what I have written is wrong, and I dont care what side of the fucking fence your on. I will not read any "Thats not what happened in the bible" nor any "god doesnt exist, angst angst angst" bull.... Kay.... just had to say that..... all done now
Add a Comment:
DaishiHitokiri Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2004
that is an awesomely awesome script. ^_^ you should do more of this. and yes, ian do nicks bidding and draw damn you! ^_^
Domina-Red Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2004
Alright, I agree with Ian. Fantabulous writing, ...*eh*... on the subject matter... As I told you, it just isn't my thing.

Your visualization is great. Keep it up. I think it's important to get good visuals and descriptiveness.

And kiss my ass, I am going to say it anyhow, you need to send these to me to error and grammar check!!! :P

I look forward to seeing how this saga continues and where you are going with this.
lockie Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2004
most awsome
Squaba Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2004
Draw more characters
lockie Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2004
Squaba Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2004
KesraReulen Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2004  Hobbyist General Artist
Well, like has been said... The subject matter thing... But I'm sure this is more of a prologue than anything, so I'm not going to bother with it.

On the other hand, I feel compelled to congradulate you on the 'visual' aspect. My poor abaondoned sketch book may get some use in the near future. I like wings anyway... You definitly put forth some vivid word pictures. *aplause*
1weerdchik Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2004
Wow, nicely done! As was mentioned, that is a theme that has been done many times. (Just look at the Simpsons!) But it obviously remains an interesting topic to hold peoples' attentions time and time again. And, especially if you're Christian, it's a big, important theme. The fall of man and all. And, even if you're not Christian, it still is interesting from a literary standpoint.

Besides, this was a well thought out, well portrayed version of it! I'd love to see it in pictures as it is some day intended to be. The images I got from it were stark and powerful. It's simpleness helps make it direct and to the point. Also, and I say this with much love, as I have known the author of this for QUITE some time, I'm amazed at how serious and, well, non-offensive this is. Kudos, freako, you're growing as a writer! I am very impressed! :: uber huggles :: I really liked the integration of the Big Bang and the Creationist mythos, too. I thought that was unique and really intelligant.

Now, my only question is, where are ya going with it? Is it gonna stay serious? Be funny? Non-offensive, or sacreligiously delicious? Heh, personally I'm good either way. But I MUST KNOW!!!

Also, if you're looking for more referance material, you should read Milton's Paradise Lost. It's loooong, but it has some neat, detailed descriptions of Hell and all sorts of other neat stuff like that.
Squaba Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2004
Serious, very religous, but with a dark shadow over everything. I have backgrounds and world histories if people are interested I can put them up to be read.
gin-kitsune Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2004
ooo.. pretty.

i demand a continuation.
Squaba Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2004
I find your lack of coment disturbing.
gin-kitsune Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2004
i've been only semi-concious for the last week or so... when i'm awake i'll post an intelligable... word... thingie...
anjiru Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2004
I give a damn....

I think its actually really well written. Your composition and sentence structure flows pretty damn nicely. It kept my attention really well. The only downside I can see is the subject matter is very popular to recreate, so you might have some trouble initially getting comments on the story. Your writing though is top notch, good use of synonyms and punctuation. As for being visual, I didnt have problems visualizing anything. I do have an overactive imagination though.
Squaba Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2004
I know that this is something thats been done over... and over... and over... but oh well, the ideas i have are good, and the characters I've designed will be unique. And it's supposed to be cliche, it's a manga. :P
Squaba Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2004
Eventually someone will read this and give a damn.
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December 19, 2004
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